The BIDDY Bulletin: The Questionable Words Alert List

(This text was originally written in 1996 or thereabouts, as a response to the first wave of censorware. Readers will be interested to know that every censorware service that I checked with back in the day has said that the text would pass their filters just fine.  I have, thank goodness, been able to update the “For Release” date – which assumes that such an outfit could be set up right after the installation of a truly reactionary regime – three times now. Eternal vigilance and all that. )

(PS>> The effect works best when read across the rows first, rather than down the columns.)

——–forwarded material follows————

for release 1/21/2013

* * * B U L L E T I N * * *

from the Bureau of Internet Decency and Direction for Youth (BIDDY)

** BOTH HANDS ON THE DESKTOP AT ALL TIMES!! **

WARNING: This message may contain material that may lead to dangerous thought processes. Reading of this message by personnel without the proper BIDDY clearances may be a prosecutable offense. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

***CONTENTS: The Questionable Words Alert List***

As you know, in keeping with Federal Law, all Internet messages are to be scanned for possible prurient content. This list contains the Level 3 Questionable Words Alert triggers. All Internet Access Providers and Internet Security Providers, as part of their Federal license provisions, are required by law to program their Net Access Security Testing and Inspection Exchange Systems (NASTIES) to flag all messages containing these words. These messages should then should be examined closely for possible covert prurience. The identities of those who send messages containing these words should be sent to BIDDY; they may then be subject to Schedule 3 light surveillance (spot checks and employer interviews).

This is *not* the Level 1 Alert List, “Outright Filth,” which contains words such as f**k and c**t that have no other meanings beyond the obscene, or the Level 2a “Slang Obscenities” Alert List, which contains words such as c*ck or c*me that have other common meanings, but carry well-known obscene connotations or denotations. This is also not the Level 2b Alert List, “Specialized Slang Obscenities,” which includes terms that are not by themselves obscene on a word-by-word basis, but that have specialized obscene meanings (e.g., “g*lden sh*wer” “tr*user sn*ke”).

This list contains words that have common innocent uses, but that *may* indicate prurient content. We at BIDDY have seen numerous instances of
Internet users attempting to circumvent the provisions of the Communications
Decency Act (Revised) by the use of euphemisms and code words. This practice must be stopped, and stopping it will require ever-increased vigilance on our part. We shall — we must – prevail!

Please send suggestions for other words to be added to this list directly to the
Office of Cultural Purity Czar William Bennett, or to Secretary O’Donnell. Thank
you for your cooperation.

Purely yours,
Mrs. Grundy
Chief, Enforcement, BIDDY

QUESTIONABLE WORDS ALERT LIST
*****************************
Note: Variants on these words such as plurals,
past tenses, superlatives, adverbial forms,
participles, etc. are assumed to be included as well.

hot        wet        hard          soft
stroke     caress     hold          grab
satisfy    button     zipper        undo
whisper    coax       massage       candlelight
wine       oil        slippery      slick
hold       hug        embrace       rub
dance      sing       play with     tickle
roll       tumble     down          up
light      dark       bed           floor
bath       bathe      shower        soak
eat        murmur     gasp          giggle
thrust     pierce     engorge       drink
spurt      fluid      milk          bounce
party      friend     loose         tight
furry      fuzzy      warm          damp
moist      snug       soak          wild
desire     need       must          let's
can        should     under         over
on top     inside     underneath    collapse
sheet      pillow     blanket       mirror
want       enjoy      pleasure      pain
good       bad        wonderful     fantastic
huge       swell      burst         firm
remove     discard    shed          strip
lubricate  nibble     lick          show
sweat      juicy      throb         bond
laugh      shout      scream        beg
bite       moan       free          sleep
in         out        on            above
below      next to    lie           lay
laid       get it     get some      get any
make       give       let           open
do         it         now           more
willing    consent    adult         baby
join       together   same          peak
joy        happy      content       love
oh God     oh Jesus   no            yes
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