Dear Editor —
I fear that George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and other members of the Bush Regime may find themselves in great personal peril after they leave power – threatened as they will undoubtedly be by implacably hostile terrorists, harassed by merciless left-wing reporters, and worst of all, pursued by the very Hounds of Hell themselves, the ruthless investigators of the International Criminal Court.
I think that it behooves us, the American people, to do everything we can to provide the best security possible for these selfless public servants, these men and women who put everything at risk, whether they owned it or not, to try to keep this country exactly what they wanted it to be. This security cannot be a part-time thing – it should be 24/7/365 (or 366, depending), for the rest of their natural (or artificially-extended) lives.
How can we accomplish such a Herculean task, you may ask? Do we have the skilled personnel, the specialized state-of-the-art equipment, the indomitable spirit and determination that will be required? Of course we do – we’re Americans, aren’t we? Is there any task that is beyond our powers? (I mean, besides manufacturing affordable renewable-power vehicles for personal transport, or providing single-payer universal health care…)
So I propose, my fellow Americans, that – for their own protection , you understand – we should arrange for this security to be instituted as soon as possible, at the one place where it can be provided:
The United States Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Facility (ADX), the Federal SUPERMAX facility in Florence, Colorado.
After all, considering everything that the men and women of the Bush Regime have done for this country, given their unique and indeed unparalleled contributions to our history, wouldn’t you agree that they deserve nothing less than the VERY best we can give them…?