I am happy to submit the following to the tender mercies of the Folk Process… enjoy! (If you use it, just give me attribution please…)
TALKIN’ ENUMERATOR BLUES
by Skip Mendler
(traditional talkin’ blues structure – G C D, rinse, repeat)
Well, I was unemployed, couldn’t get a job
Didn’t want folks to think I was a slob
So when I saw the sign, “CENSUS 2010”
I said “Hey, it’d be nice to work again”
So I signed up. Took the test. Passed the first time.
They trained me right, I was signed and sealed
They sent me out into the field
Lookin’ for folks who didn’t send back
Their forms – I wondered if I’d be attacked
I was vulnerable. Unarmed. Sitting duck.
Went to a house, knocked on the door
Told the guy what I was there for
He said he’d give me a count of three
‘fore he sicked his dogs on me
I said “Thank you very much – nice to talk to you – have a nice day.”
Most of the people were very nice
Only got shot at once or twice
Some people sure can get upset
About the government – but they forget
It’s required – Constitutionally mandated – Article 1, Section 2
They get so worried ’bout their privacy
But lemme tell ya what happened to me
When I went down to the grocery
The cashier said she had something for me
Some kind of card – “Rewards program” – Special discounts
If I’d let ’em keep track of the things I bought
And gave ’em other info they sought
They’d give me coupons, prizes, stuff
And getting it all wouldn’t be tough
Just have to use the card – Every time I shopped – Swipe here, please.
Maybe that’s what the government oughta try
Next time Census time comes by
Just fill out the form, send it in,
And Citizen, you just might win!
Free healthcare for a year! … Or your own battleship!… Or maybe a Presidential pen-and-pencil set!