(This text was originally written in 1996 or thereabouts, as a response to the first wave of censorware. Readers will be interested to know that every censorware service that I checked with back in the day has said that the text would pass their filters just fine. I have, thank goodness, been able to update the “For Release” date – which assumes that such an outfit could be set up right after the installation of a truly reactionary regime – three times now. Eternal vigilance and all that. )
(PS>> The effect works best when read across the rows first, rather than down the columns.)
——–forwarded material follows————
for release 1/21/2013
* * * B U L L E T I N * * *
from the Bureau of Internet Decency and Direction for Youth (BIDDY)
** BOTH HANDS ON THE DESKTOP AT ALL TIMES!! **
WARNING: This message may contain material that may lead to dangerous thought processes. Reading of this message by personnel without the proper BIDDY clearances may be a prosecutable offense. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
***CONTENTS: The Questionable Words Alert List***
As you know, in keeping with Federal Law, all Internet messages are to be scanned for possible prurient content. This list contains the Level 3 Questionable Words Alert triggers. All Internet Access Providers and Internet Security Providers, as part of their Federal license provisions, are required by law to program their Net Access Security Testing and Inspection Exchange Systems (NASTIES) to flag all messages containing these words. These messages should then should be examined closely for possible covert prurience. The identities of those who send messages containing these words should be sent to BIDDY; they may then be subject to Schedule 3 light surveillance (spot checks and employer interviews).
This is *not* the Level 1 Alert List, “Outright Filth,” which contains words such as f**k and c**t that have no other meanings beyond the obscene, or the Level 2a “Slang Obscenities” Alert List, which contains words such as c*ck or c*me that have other common meanings, but carry well-known obscene connotations or denotations. This is also not the Level 2b Alert List, “Specialized Slang Obscenities,” which includes terms that are not by themselves obscene on a word-by-word basis, but that have specialized obscene meanings (e.g., “g*lden sh*wer” “tr*user sn*ke”).
This list contains words that have common innocent uses, but that *may* indicate prurient content. We at BIDDY have seen numerous instances of
Internet users attempting to circumvent the provisions of the Communications
Decency Act (Revised) by the use of euphemisms and code words. This practice must be stopped, and stopping it will require ever-increased vigilance on our part. We shall — we must — prevail!
Please send suggestions for other words to be added to this list directly to the
Office of Cultural Purity Czar William Bennett, or to Secretary O’Donnell. Thank
you for your cooperation.
Chief, Enforcement, BIDDY
QUESTIONABLE WORDS ALERT LIST ***************************** Note: Variants on these words such as plurals, past tenses, superlatives, adverbial forms, participles, etc. are assumed to be included as well. hot wet hard soft stroke caress hold grab satisfy button zipper undo whisper coax massage candlelight wine oil slippery slick hold hug embrace rub dance sing play with tickle roll tumble down up light dark bed floor bath bathe shower soak eat murmur gasp giggle thrust pierce engorge drink spurt fluid milk bounce party friend loose tight furry fuzzy warm damp moist snug soak wild desire need must let's can should under over on top inside underneath collapse sheet pillow blanket mirror want enjoy pleasure pain good bad wonderful fantastic huge swell burst firm remove discard shed strip lubricate nibble lick show sweat juicy throb bond laugh shout scream beg bite moan free sleep in out on above below next to lie lay laid get it get some get any make give let open do it now more willing consent adult baby join together same peak joy happy content love oh God oh Jesus no yes