PLAUSIBLE NEWS: RESPONDING TO FUEHRER’S “CALL FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE,” NEO-NAZIS COMMITTING SUICIDE

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RESPONDING TO FUEHRER’S “CALL FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE,” NEO-NAZIS COMMITTING MASS SUICIDE

COEUR D’ALINE, IDAHO (Plausible News Service) – Across the country, police report, Neo-Nazis, Klansmen, and other white supremacy activists are committing suicide en masse, apparently in response to a supposed “mobilization call” issued from beyond the grave by Adolf Hitler himself.

Police say that approximately two dozen white males, aged 35 to 72, gathered together last weekend in a remote Idaho location for a “White Power Confederacy” rally. At the rally, one of the participants read from a handwritten document urging the attendees to “heed the call of our Fuehrer, who even now is gathering the souls of his faithful, the souls of strong Aryan men, to himself at the gates of Hell to prepare for his triumphant return.” According to the document, its author received this information in “a glorious dream, from the lips of Hitler himself.” The men, following the document’s instructions, then carved swastikas into their foreheads with their knives, and shot themselves. According to the document, they would soon return to their bodies as zombies, immune to death, and able to “fight forever for the Fatherland, with our sacred symbol emblazoned in fire upon our foreheads.”

The county coroner reports that none of the bodies, which are still awaiting recovery by their families, have yet shown any signs of reanimation.

Reports of similar suicides have since cropped up in a number of states, including Mississippi, South Carolina, and Indiana.  “Let your eyes be dry and do not grief (sic) for me, for I go to fight for you and for our race. Seig (sic) Heil!”  William “Buddy” Kuhlicker wrote to his family before wrapping himself in a Confederate flag and immolating himself in the parking lot of a WalMart near Smithfield, North Carolina.

 

 

 

 

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