(With apologies to John, Paul, George, and Ringo – as well as Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.)
Blessed are those in times of trouble, for Mother Mary shall come to them.
Blessed are those who know My Name, for they shall look up My Number.
Blessed was I yesterday, for all my troubles seemed so far away.
Blessed are those with kaleidoscope eyes, for they shall be seen in the sky with diamonds.
Blessed are those who don’t care too much for money, for money cannot buy them love.
Blessed are those who find Gideon’s Bible, for it shall help with their revival.
Blessed are those who work eight days a week, for they shall be made to feel alright.
Blessed are those who live in yellow submarines, for they shall, every one of them, have all they need.
Blessed are all the lonely people, for no one knows where they all come from, or where they all belong.
Blessed are those who are not caught with another man, for if they are, that’s the end, little girl.
Blessed are those who take a sad song and make it better, for the minute they let her under their skin, they shall begin to make it better.
Blessed are those who saw her standing there, for they shall never dance with another.
Blessed are you who think you have lost her love, because she loves you, yea, yea, yea.