NO! STOP! (IT’S TOO DAMN SOON)

I was pushing my cart
Through the local Bloat-Mart
When I saw something that near stopped my heart
I had to calm myself
What was that on the shelf
Holy crap, did I just see an ELF?

NO! STOP! It’s too damn soon
We haven’t even seen the Harvest Moon
I’m still working on my tan
So let’s wait a minute man
At least until the cranberries are out of the can!

Now I love Christmas, don’t get me wrong
I love to sing those Christmas songs
But the timing has to be just right
YOU DON’T START TO CAROL ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT

NO! STOP! It’s too damn soon
Someday we’ll start to decorate in June
So put that mistletoe away
No matter what the stores may say
Why can’t we just wait till Turkey Day??

NO! STOP! (etc. etc. ad lib to fade)

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