PLAUSIBLE NEWS: NEW GUIDELINES FOR PHONE ETIQUETTE ANNOUNCED

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NEW GUIDELINES FOR PHONE ETIQUETTE ANNOUNCED
“Hail Freedom!” “God Bless Our President!” Among Options

WASHINGTON DC (Plausible News Service) – To help ensure social cohesion once the new regime has taken office, Trump campaign officials today announced a set of new greetings that all “true American patriots” can use when answering their phones.

“We wish to stress that we will not be requiring these through legislation, since the President-Elect and Vice-President-Elect have only the highest respect for Americans’ rights of self-expression” said Julia O’Brien-Smith, who as the transition team’s Director for Popular Attitudes is tasked with “making sure the American people are ready to fully undertake their part in the new age that President Trump represents.”

Ms. O’Brien-Smith said the new guidelines would be purely voluntary, but that “widespread adoption of these greetings can only add to our sense of national unity – Unity Under Trump. When you call someone, and they answer with ‘God Bless Our President,’ you’ll know that you’re talking to someone who speaks your language, someone that you can trust.”

Suggested phrases include the following:

  • “Hail Freedom!”
  • “Hallelujah, America is Great Again!”
  • “God Bless Our President!”
  • “Hail Victory!”

Ms.O’Brien-Smith encouraged Americans to come up with other possibilities. “We trust the creative spirit of the American people, and we trust in their desire to see this President and our nation succeed,” she said.

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