“Staying Ahead of Reality Since 2001”

“I’ll Abandon Control Of My Businesses – If…”

WASHINGTON (Plausible News Service) – President-Elect Donald Trump today announced plans to divest himself of all control of his worldwide businesses.

But in return, he wants something.

“I ask just one thing,” he said in a statement. “And I know the American people will understand. For me to concentrate fully on the sacred trust that you have placed in me, I need to know that I can trust you as well. I need to know that you, the American people, will keep my interests foremost in your minds and hearts while I am President. In all your business dealings, in all your consumer purchases and financial planning, I need you to ask yourself, ‘Will this, in the long run, help or hurt my President?'”

“This is a truly extraordinary statement,” said campaign manager Kellyanne Conway. “He is literally placing his future well-being, and that of his family, directly in the hands of the American people. I mean, really, what a guy!”

To make it easier for Americans to help ensure Trump’s future prosperity, the Trump Organization will grant a 15% discount on all Trump-related expenditures to all Americans who purchase a “Trump Card Plus” for only $17.76/year (plus shipping and handling costs).


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