Psalm for My Device

My Device is my servant; I shall not want.
It helpeth me to locate green pastures;
it leadeth me towards the best deals on lakeside accommodations.
It restoreth my data; it directeth me away from traffic delays
and findeth the most righteous alternate routes.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of poor reception,
I shall not fear; thy memes and cat videos, they comfort me;
thy GPS functionalities, they guide me in the paths wherein I shall walk;
thy schedules and reminders, behold, they keep me on time.
Truly may I order pizza, even in the midst of my enemies;
I shall ascend to the next level of Unicorn Frolic; my data plan runneth over.
And surely I shall dwell within range of free WiFi forever.

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