Tag Archives: GOP


In his memoir WOODSTOCK NATION, Abbie Hoffman paints a telling portrait of  himself at the festival’s end – staggering aimlessly around the deserted, trash-strewn field, stoned out of his mind, and crudely propositioning every female he encounters.

That image comes to mind when I try to figure out what happened to the optimistic peace-and-love vision of the hippies, and why 50 years later we find ourselves in a world that seems in many ways the exact opposite of what they were hoping for.

Part of the fault was our own, of course. (I am lumping myself in with the Woodstock generation here, though I was a little bit younger – still only in junior high when Woodstock happened.)   To put it succinctly, I think we were right to claim the freedoms we claimed, but we forgot… or neglected… or refused to accept the responsibilities involved. 

But there was also a backlash. The conservative establishment responded to the social unrest and cultural upheaval that marked the 1960’s with a campaign that was breathtaking in its depth, scope, and audacity. It was also, we must begrudgingly admit, largely successful. 

We can start with August 28, 1971, just 2 years after Woodstock. A corporate lawyer (and soon-to-be Supreme Court Justice) named Lewis Powell writes a memo to his friend Eugene Sydnor, Jr. – Director of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Powell decries what he sees as a concerted attack on American economic institutions – indeed, on the American way of life itself. But he’s not particularly worried about Communists or leftists:

“The most disquieting voices joining the chorus of criticism come from perfectly respectable elements of society: from the college campus, the pulpit, the media, the intellectual and literary journals, the arts and sciences, and from politicians. In most of these groups the movement against the system is participated in only by minorities. Yet, these often are the most articulate, the most vocal, the most prolific in their writing and speaking.”

So he recommends that a series of  countermeasures be taken within each of those spheres: education, religion, the media, and so on. And though I can’t say that all these developments below sprang directly from Powell’s memo, we can note the creation of a vast array of new institutions and organizations, and changes in existing ones, within the next few years. (This was not a “conspiracy,” mind you; this was all done quite openly, right out in front of God and everybody.)

Some highlights:

There are many more examples I could cite, of course – from the establishment of think tanks like the Heritage Foundation, from FOX News to the Koch brothers, from ALEC to the Citizens United case. My point is this: these people worked long and hard to bring us to the present situation. Whatever happens to the Trumps and their supporters and enablers, it will take at least as much time, money, effort, and dedication to undo the damage they have caused.

Maybe by the Woodstock centennial, we’ll be able to really celebrate.


PLAUSIBLE NEWS: Robertson To Lead GOP Wannabes on “40 Days in Wilderness”Retreat

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“Keeping Ahead of Reality Since 2001”

Will Attempt To “Discern God’s Will” And Settle On One “Anointed” Candidate

VIRGINIA BEACH (Plausible News Service) – The Republican Party has a problem, and it is seeking Divine help to solve it.

Many of the GOP’s Presidential hopefuls, including Governor Mike Huckabee, Senator Ted Cruz, and former Senator Rick Santorum, have either hinted or declared outright that they have been ordered, or at least encouraged, to seek the Presidency by none less that Almighty God Himself. Cynical commentators have called into question how God could be promising His support to so many people at once. “Behold, His left hand knoweth not what His right hand mighteth be doing,” wrote one atheist wag.

For their part, GOP party leaders have more practical concerns. They fear that a contentious primary season could weaken their chances of a victory in November 2016. In the words of one party staffer, “A bunch of guys, each of whom is convinced in his heart of hearts that he has been personally chosen by God for a great mission, are not going to play together well.”

Enter “700 Club” televangelist and would-be kingmaker Rev. Pat Robertson. A former Presidential candidate himself, Robertson has announced plans to take all willing primary candidates on a 40-day “retreat into the wilderness” where “God shall examine their souls and test their hearts” and, presumably, settle on one standard-bearer who shall be, in Robertson’s words, “anointed with the awesome power of the Holy Spirit.”

According to reports, though, this “forty days in the wilderness,” despite its Biblical resonances, will not involve wearing hairshirts, wandering amongst cacti in the desert, or relying on manna from heaven for sustenance. Rather, the “retreat” will take place at the luxurious and exclusive Rancho Grande del Cielo resort in the Sierra Nevada mountains, which is operated by relatives of the prominent Republican donor T. Bigglesworth Bellows. Rumors that the retreat will also be attended by such deep-pocketed backers as the Koch brothers and casino magnate Sheldon Adelson could not be confirmed.


“Keeping Ahead of Reality Since 2001”

(Honesdale PA) – Plausible News Service, an independent news organization based in Northeastern Pennsylvania with more than a decade of public service, has scooped all its competition and become the first media outlet to have called the 2012 Presidential Election.

Based on early returns, PNS has called the race a tie. PNS predicts that neither candidate will be able to demonstrably show an unambiguous victory, either in the popular vote or even the Electoral College.

“According to our sophisticated, state-of-the-art analytical models, we believe that the 5-5 tie in Dixville Notch, New Hampshire, will be replicated again and again across the nation,” said Scott Mildew, Executive Editor of Plausible News. “The only thing for the candidates to do now is get together and have a coin toss.” Mildew, however, urged citizens to not let this analysis deter them from participating, quickly adding, “We still need people to go to the polls and vote, however, since there are many other races and ballot questions to be decided.”

Word of the stunning result has reverberated quickly throughout the political community.

Prof. Hezekiah Bellows of the Political Science Department at Generic State University says the challenge before the candidates now is stark. “Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will have to get together and, I don’t know how, form some kind of unity government, I guess,” he says. “There will be lots of old-fashioned horse-trading, I’m sure. The really tough part for them will be keeping their respective staffers and diehard supporters from killing each other in the process.”

Partisans of both sides, who were planning for wild triumphalist celebrations this evening, and four years of reveling in shameless gloating to come, refuse to accept anything less than total victory. Norbert Bitebark, founder of conservative website CrushTheGodlessElitistLibtards.com, was livid at the prospect of trying to cooperate with his former opponents. “Move beyond ideology? Craft practical, nonpartisan solutions with – THOSE people? Impossible!” His sentiments were echoed, almost verbatim, by his wife, Shelley, who runs the liberal website DestroyTheStupidFascistTheocrats.org.

But most citizens expressed relief. “Thank God, I was afraid this election would literally tear the country apart,” said Lou Plebian, a taxi driver in Cincinnati. “Now my wife and I will be able to sleep in the same bed again.”

If I were a Communist …

If I were a Communist bent on destroying the US…

… I would make sure that governments at all levels strangled for lack of $$$

… I would make sure all America’s natural resources got plundered – and squandered – as quickly as possible

… i would accelerate the growth in social and financial inequity until social cohesion failed

… I would try to dismantle all forms of public education

… I would increase the # of people living in poverty, so that I could attract more cadres

… I would encourage Americans to adopt a “bunker mentality” rather than create resilient communities

… I would encourage all Americans to arm themselves as heavily as possible

… I would encourage Americans to view their neighbors with distrust and suspicion

… I would tell the American people that there are Communists *everywhere*

… I would tell Americans they are “exceptional” & not bound by the laws of nature

… I would train the people to respond unthinkingly to the diatribes of demagogues

… I would encourage the richest Americans to only think of their own self-interests

… I would remove all barriers to capitalism running its natural, selfdestructive course

… I would merge Church & State so I could overthrow both at once

… or even better: I would make reflexive obedience to the State a religious precept

Fall to Pieces (parody)

fall to pieces
(with apologies to Lennon & McCartney)

there go newt gingrich
he think big ideas now
he got triple wedding
he want moonbase alpha
he say
he can clobber Barack in debate
got a head so big that he can’t get in the gate

there go santorum
he on moral high horse
he want papal indulgence
he got google problem
he say “love the sinner, hate the sin”
must’ve lost his soul because he need souls to win

fall to pieces
right now

there go ron paul now
he got ayn rand tin hat
he want golden money
he got dork fanatics
he say sex and drugs and greed and fear
bring home the soldiers so we can use them here

fall to pieces
right now

there go mitt romney
he got trump endorsement
he make big fat wagers
he got hair apparent
he say “no worries for the very poor”
likes them so much he think he’ll make a lot more

fall to pieces
right now

Meghan McCain: “Old School” Republicans Are “Scared Sh*tless”

Read the Article (Meghan McCain: “Old School” Republicans Are “Scared Sh*tless”) at HuffingtonPost

OK, imagine this scenario:

1.Arlen Specter splits from the Republicans, gets together with folks like Lincoln Chaffee of RI and Chris Shays of CT and Mesdames Senators Snow & Collins from Maine and other moderate Republicans and forms a new centrist party.

2. Remaining Republicans split between Theocrats and big-gov Plutocrats when evangelicals finally realize that Mammon’s been playing them for suckers for years.

3. Ron Paul and small-government Libertarian Republicans go to their natural home, the Libertarian Party. Constitution Party sees gains from pro-defense “peace thru strength” voters.

4. Blue Dog and DLC Democrats – and probably Barack Obama, for that matter – join new centrist coalition…

5. …leaving the Democratic Party to the “Wellstone wing” left-liberals like Kucinich.

6. Labor folks expand Working Families Party beyond NY State.

7. Greenish Democrats (for whom even Kucinich is still too “establishment”) can finally rejoin their kin in the Green Party without worrying about the “spoiler” effect.

Yeah, I know, but I can dream, can’t I?