“Staying Ahead of Reality Since 2001”
THINK TANK REPORT: EAT, DRINK, AND BE MERRY
CAMBRIDGE, MA (Plausible News Service) – In a new report to be released today, a think tank based at Harrad College suggests that the most proper and effective response to the worsening world situation may simply be to have all the fun we possibly can in the limited time we have left.
“Given the greatly increased possibility of sudden and unexpected mortality within the next 24-hour period, we are advocating a course of increased consumption of delicious and well-prepared comfort foods, along with alcohol and other enjoyable intoxicants,” said Dr. Joy de Vivre, director of the Institute for Responsible Hedonism. “Moreover, this should, we believe, be accompanied by an increase in raucous celebrations filled with laughter and music, in which we enjoy the company of our friends, lovers, and fellow humans, while we are all still able to do so.”
The report points to several factors, including war, terrorism, disease, environmental disaster, and the coming deluge of commercials for the 2018 election cycle as primary causes for what it calls “a projected severe and imminent drop in the amount of pleasure available in the world.”
Dr. de Vivre summed up the report’s recommendations. “Let us face the coming catastrophes with a song in our hearts, a drink in our hands, and hot animal passion in our beds. Don’t drink and drive, and always use appropriate protection,” she added.
The Institute for Responsible Hedonism was founded in 1967.
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