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PLAUSIBLE NEWS: EXCLUSIVE TRUMP INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

PLAUSIBLE NEWS SERVICE
Staying Ahead of Reality since 2001

EXCLUSIVE TRUMP INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

(Senior Reporter Otto B. True of the Plausible News Service was recently given the opportunity to interview Donald J. Trump in the Oval Office. Complete transcript follows.)

Interviewer: “So, how are you?”

Trump: “Great. Fantastic. America’s becoming great again, respect, trade deals, we’re stronger than ever…”

Int: “Indeed. But how are you?”

Trump: “Incredible. Poll numbers up. Rallies, great crowds at rallies. People are supporting me, great Americans, great people….”

Int: “Yes, but how are you? Yourself?”

Trump: “Amazing. Met with world leaders, fabulous people. Great round of golf last weekend. Great foursome…”

Int (leans in slightly, softens voice): “Yes, of course. But how is… Donald?”

Trump (hesitates): “Fine. Great. Great family, beautiful wife, kids are amazing, standing up for me, terrible witch hunt…”

Int: “I mean, how are you feeling these days?”

Trump: “Fantastic. Never better. Doctor says I’m the most fit man to ever hold the office. Thinks I should get out more, though, play more golf…” (chuckles)

Int (removes glasses, locks eyes with Trump, a penetrating gaze deep into his soul): “Donald. It’s okay, Donald… How are you doing? I mean, really…?”

Trump (chin quivers): “I… I…” (looks around the room, eyes begin to water) “It’s… so hard…”

Handler: “Thank you, that’s all. We’re done here.”

(transcript ends)