A TRUMP BESTIARY

Trumpite: Your basic Trump supporter. Also, “Trumpian,” “Trumpit,” “Trumpist,” “Trumper” etc. A mere statement of fact, with no additional connotations.

Trumpet: A particularly LOUD Trumpite. (Thanks Ray Katz)

Trumpanista: Trumpian who is particularly enamored with the idea of Trump as revolutionary figure, someone who will “shake up” the established order. Bound to be disappointed.

Trumpette: A perky young female Trumpite who is just SO excited about Trump and the future and how GREAT everything is going to be!!

Trumpoid (also, Trumpbot): A Trumpit who sees no need to think things through, or indeed to think at all. “He said it, I believe it.”

Trumpanzee: A Trump supporter, usually male, who seeks to enforce Trumpism through threats and intimidation, or who uses Trump’s victory as a license to threaten and intimidate others.

Trymphomaniac: Any woman who says, “Trump can grab MY **** anytime!”

Trumpublicans: Establishment Republicans who have thrown in their lot with Trump strictly for the sake of political expediency. Should be shown no mercy when things fall apart.

Trumpzilla: Trump in his invulnerable aspect as Destroyer of All Opposition. “Trumpzilla destroyed all his Republican opponents and then snatched victory from Hillary’s hands. Can ANYONE stop him?”

Trumpoleon: Trump in his aggressive aspect as Conqueror of Worlds. “Trumpoleon will make sure that America is respected in the world again.”

Trumpolini: Trump in his protofascist aspect as Imposer of Order. “You better shape up and get back to work or Trumpolini will sic his goons on you!”

Trumphistopheles (or simply “Trumphisto”): Trump in his “devil-may-care” aspect as Loose Cannon. “What did Trumphisto tweet last night??”

Trump l’Oeil: The art of illusion whereby Trump is made to appear as if he were in fact a legitimate President. (Thanks Blyden Potts)

Trumpnesia: The convenient forgetting, by Trump or one of his supporters, of an embarrassing or incorrect Trump statement or action.

Trumpestuosity: That feeling when when a stormy mood threatens to release the sex pest lurking beneath. (Thanks Pamela Mudge-Wood.)

Trumptidigitation: Identifying a non-problem for which you have developed an expensive, over-wrought solution that you have no intention of making a reality. (Thanks Stiv Owens)

Trumparama (or “Trump-o-rama”): An event used by Trump to promote Himself and/or the Trump Brand. (E.g., the opening of his Washington DC hotel.)

Trumpapalooza: A really yuge Trumparama, e.g. the Inauguration.

Skip’s Lexicon: alpha-hole

al’pha-hole (n.) – An “alpha male” who is also an asshole. Not content to have power, wealth, and charisma, an alpha-hole is excessively and unnecessarily aggressive, and flaunts his power and superiority at every  opportunity.

Skip’s Lexicon: plutopathy

plu-top’-a-thy (n.): A mental illness caused by excess wealth. Symptoms include: shortsighted decision-making; inability to empathize;  self-centeredness bordering on narcissism; heightened sense of privilege; atrophy of the altruistic parts of the brain;chronic feelings of insufficiency; inability to feel satisfied; tendency to reduce all relationships to economics.

Skip’s Lexicon: synecocracy

syn-e-coc’ra-cy (n.) A not-yet-existent system of governance based both on  recognizing and balancing different interests within a community, and on balancing the needs of the community with its neighbors and its natural environment.  (from Greek sunoikia, community, from sun– with + oikos household; + -cracy)

Skip’s Lexicon: “Trickle-down”

Trickle-down economics (n.): Economic theory that, in effect, states that “if your feet stink, you should wash your hair.”

Skip’s Lexicon: snothing

Snoth’ing (n.): The sensation that one is about to sneeze, but the sneeze doesn’t happen.

George: “Aaahh – AAAAHH –”
Dick: “What was that?”
George: “Oh, snothing.”

Skip’s Lexicon: clockrupt

Clock’rupt (adj.): The state of being overcommitted; having more things to do than one has time to even possibly do them in.  Clockruptcy, n.

There was no way I could finish the report on time and get to my daughter’s recital and meet Hannah at the airport. I had to face the facts: I was clockrupt.

 

Skip’s Lexicon: camelonasophobia

Cam’el-o-nas-o-pho’bi-a (n.) : Lit., “fear of the camel’s nose”; irrational fear of something terrible that might happen in the future if some small, seemingly harmless concession is made in the present (derived from Bedouin folklore; cf. “slippery slope”)

“Some people think gay marriage would lead to social acceptance of bestiality – but that’s just camelonasophobia.”

Skip’s Lexicon: belligerism

Bel-lig’er-ism (n.) : The opposite of pacifism; the belief or philosophical attitude that war is actually beneficial and should be encouraged. Belligerist (n.): An adherent of belligerism. (from Latin bellum gerere, to wage war)

J0hn Bolton is about the most perfect example of a belligerist that I’ve ever seen.  It sems he can’t wait for the next World War to break out.